Το αλκοόλ χρησιμοποιείται, με τον ένα ή τον άλλο τρόπο σε όλη τη διάρκεια της ιστορίας αλλά ξέρετε ότι η συνταγή για την μπύρα είναι η παλαιότερη γνωστή συνταγή στον κόσμο; Εκτός από το ότι χρησιμοποιείται ως ποτό και βοηθός χειρουργού, υπάρχουν εκατοντάδες άλλα ενδιαφέροντα γεγονότα σχετικά με την ιστορία και τη χρήση αλκοόλ. Εδώ…
That’s right, friends — I am talking about alcohol.
Now, some of you may think that it sounds like I have a drinking problem. Wrong! I have a drinking SOLUTION. And so can you. Read on to see how alcohol reliably helps you win friends, influence people, and awaken the giant within.
It makes you more open to new experiences
Have you ever done something while tipsy that you would not have done sober? That is probably because you were embodying the Buddhist concept of sunyata, or openness. This is what makes you step out of your rut and learn a new skill, make a new friend, or find a fresh start. Sometimes it involves ordering a potter’s kiln off Amazon at 3 a.m., but it’s all part of the process of self-improvement.
It makes you a better communicator
It’s hard to spin a line of bullshit when you’re four tequilas deep. When we impair the tongue, we free the truth. I think that’s a Buddhist thing, too, maybe.
It makes you funnier
You know all those slightly evil thoughts in your head? The ones you never say out loud, because people might think you’re not as nice as you pretend to be? I bet some of those are really funny. Trust me, no one came up with “camel toe” after a night of drinking Diet Coke. (Also sometimes you fall down, and that’s fucking GOLD.)
It makes you sexier
I’m not even talking about beauty in the eye of the beer-holder. The more attractive you FEEL, the more attractive you APPEAR. Confidence is sexy. (There, now you don’t have to read “The Game“ You’re welcome.)
It makes you braver
You know the phrase “liquid courage”? The same thing that helps you get on stage at a karaoke bar might just be the thing that takes the edge off terrifying acts like asking out your crush, starting your own business, or finally getting rid of that plaid cape.
It makes you kinder
I know the stereotype of a drunk is angry and morose, but most people I know get nicer the more they drink. They become more forgiving, more affectionate, and more supportive. Nowhere will you experience a level of sisterhood higher than in the women’s room at a bar at 1 a.m. on a Friday night.
It makes you MONEY. (EAT IT, Kiyosaki!)
Did you know that, in most bars, the third or fourth drink is almost always a buy back? That’s PURE PROFIT.
It’s less embarrassing to consume alcohol than to read a self-help book in public
I know, I know, I promised you seven and delivered eight. That’s just the kind of successful, highly effective person that YOU can be too, if you follow my program.
The theory was originally put forth by Robert Dudley, a professor of integrative biology at the University of California, Berkeley, in a 2000 article called “Evolutionary origins of human alcoholism in primate frugivory.” The hypothesis proposes that apes and early humans evolved to seek out ethyl alcohol because it led them to food. These early primates are known as frugivores, referring to their preference for fruit over any other food. But in order to locate that desirable fruit and those crucial calories, frugivores couldn’t just hit the local Whole Foods. They had to rely on their sense of smell. And one thing that routinely led them to fruit was the smell of alcohol.
That’s because natural fermentation occurs when yeast eats sugar. Yeast floating through the air attaches itself to fallen fruit, and then eats the sugars in that fruit. A byproduct of the yeast’s consumption of sugar is alcohol — and alcohol’s smell. For frugivores, that smell meant food was near. Animals that could detect the smell of fermenting fruit had a better chance of survival because it meant more calories. Ergo, we developed a taste for alcohol because its smell kept us alive. As Dudley concludes in his article, “Although diverse factors contribute to the expression of alcoholism as a clinical syndrome, historical selection for the consumption of ethanol in the course of frugivory can be viewed as a subtle yet pervasive evolutionary influence on modern humans.”
Dudley, whose father had suffered from alcoholism, eventually accumulated all the data into a 2014 book called “The Drunken Monkey: Why We Drink and Abuse Alcohol.” “Where there is sugar in the tropics, there is alcohol,” he explained to Berkeley News. “Now, not a lot; it depends on how much you consume. They are not drinking down gin and tonics, but they are getting a long, sustained, low-level exposure.”
Though early primate ancestors may not have been drinking cocktails, Dudley arrived at his hypothesis over one. “It was in Panama, where I lived for five years,” he told Berkeley News. “It was a combination of long term exposure to the foraging biology of monkeys in the field, and the nicest experience in the world, which is sitting on the veranda at 5:30 p.m. with a Rum and Coke in hand, watching the sun go down.”
It was on the veranda, cocktail in hand, that he came up with the theory. “I remember thinking once, ‘What is it about humans and alcohol, and this triangle of monkeys, fruit and alcohol fermentation? Maybe it is just an ancestral association of fruit-eating with alcohol production by yeast.’ Then, my immediate next thought, which I remember even more clearly, was that this is a real simple and obvious idea.”
Today, humans forage for alcohol in stores, not the wild. But at its most basic, is hunting for a bottle of wine really all that different from hunting for wildly fermenting fruit and sap? The next time you’re browsing the bottles, take a second to consider the long evolutionary tradition of searching for the perfect beverage.